6 thoughts on “BOOKS”

  1. Kimi, You may remember me. I helped organize the farewell dance and celebration for you and Greg before your wedding. I am friends of Steve Bucklew and Marion Palo, and they told me yesterday about our trip and the aftermath. I could weep for your pain. You are a remarkable writer and a wonderful photographer and I have read your blog. I know that you will make something golden out of the dross of these last months.

    2 weeks after I was married in 1983, my H. took me with him to Norway on a work exchange for a year. He was a scientist and leapt right into work and a routine, while I struggled to find my bearings, learn the language, make friends and survive in a cold, dark climate where no one ever asks your name. At least it was more or less modern. But as I read your words, that experience– the isolation, smallness, fear, doubt — all came back to me. We did survive our trip (just barely) but what I learned about him set up the marriage for failure, and eventually it collapsed.

    I hope that your future holds only good and positive things for you and that your suffering will ease in time. It’s so hard to hang onto a positive self-image sometimes, especially when you are laboring under the failure of a grand plan. But we’ve all been there and the survival story is what it is all about.

    I recently read something about the processing of grief, which has to accompany the loss of dreams. The writer said that we don’t get through grief, but rather that as we process our experience, the grief becomes part of who we are, along with any resolution we can find to the pain. I had never thought that healing was the acceptance of grief, and the acceptance of who you are after that. It makes so much sense to me. We must be different if we can survive after going through hell.

    I hope you don’t mind my reading your blog or writing to you — I know we were only casually acquainted in Seattle. But I wanted to reach out, single woman to woman, and tell you that you are a remarkable, strong, perceptive woman and you are FINE just the way you are, and no, do not change for some guy. You will get through this and yes, maybe even look back and smile.

    Congratulations on your acceptance into the MFA program and best wishes for a happy and fulfilling time writing your way around the world.

    Barbara West

    citon

    1. Thank you, Barbara. I responded to your personal email. If you write back, please write me at my yahoo address. I really appreciate your kindness and your caring concern. It meant an awful lot.

      Kimi

  2. The legal and gender officer says there have been cases of police being paid to ignore some early marriages in villages, to lose crucial evidence, and to even help forge the incriminating birth certificates of child brides.

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